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Stella ParksBest New Pastry Chef
a handful of sprinklesWhy Weight
total eclipse of the tartTotal Eclipse of the Tart
chocolate sprinklesHomemade Sprinkles
plaid tartAbout BraveTart


Tuesday June 7, 2011

Total Eclipse of the Tart it's Gastro-Astronomical!

In just a few days, on June 15th, 2011, a total lunar eclipse will take place. This kind of lunar event happens only every ten years and scientists predict next week’s eclipse in particular will mark one of the darkest on record.

If BraveTart’s starry background and vaguely Star Trek PADD like design didn’t give it away, let me be clear: I ♥ me some outer space. As a serious science geek and lover of even the most mundane celestial events, I prepared to take off work to stay up late and enjoy the show. Maybe invite some friends over for an eclipse viewing party. Make some Moon Pies. Drink some Moonshine. You know.

Except it turns out that I can’t see it from Kentucky. I can’t see it from any part of the United States. Or even North America for that matter.

Whatevs. It’s pretty much just the astronomical equivalent of Groundhog Day, except the earth’s so dumb it doesn’t even know it has a shadow. How embarrassing is that? Like I even care about some eclipse…

Unless…

full lunar eclipse chart as expressed in tarts

Unless it was a Total Eclipse of the Tart.

Okay. I have a longstanding obsession with Gastro-Astronomical events. I always did like the gastro part better anyway. Who wants to observe a stupid eclipse when you could eat one? Who even said I wanted to observe? I’m just here for the food.

Instead of watching the earth’s lame shadow creep across the boring surface of the disgusting moon, I’m gonna watch a crispy layer of sugar brûlée creep across glistening surface of delicious lemon curd.

It’s like a bajillion percent better than a celestial event named after some vampire book. Forget Eclipses. While you’re at it, forget Team Edward vs Team What’s-his-name. I’m on Team Tart.

lemon tart brûlée

This map shows which parts of the earth will offer front row seats to the full lunar eclipse. If you live in America, don’t even bother clicking. The moon hates you, you’re not invited.

But some people can have their eclipse and also eat it. Some People live in Australia and are astrophysicists and have baking blogs and have the option of watching the most brilliant lunar eclipse of the decade slowly unfold at moonrise and nibble on a lemon tart brûlée, all at the same time.

Some people can’t. And, it’s not like some people even wanted to in the first place. I didn’t. Not even the least bit curious.

Not when I have Rosco to painstakingly take all of these photos and Whit to Photoshop them according to my obnoxiously specific wishes. The “real” lunar eclipse will only last 107 minutes, but these .JPGs will last a life time.

Without those two guys, I’d just be the owner of a lonely tart.

total eclipse of the tart

Regardless of which “zone of visibility” your place of residence is located, I hope you manage to have a lovely June 15th.

I hope you bake something stellar. I hope you look up at the moon. And, for just this once, I hope you imagine it’s made of lemon curd instead of cheese.

And…. If you did just happen to live in the Zone of Visibility, and you happen to have a guest room, and you happen to need some lemon tarts? Gimme a call.

Lemon Curd
123 Dough


Fork!
posted byStellaand filed under:  Fruit  Sideshow Photos  Tarts


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